Why do judging individuals disturb us so much?

This can be explained by sociobiologically.If you live with your gang of fellow primates in a hunter/collector society, it’s a question of life or death when you are condemned. If the group drops you you are ready. From that point of view, it is understandable that, shortly through the bend, we have developed our kind of mechanisms that alert alarmist to condemnation. Such a defensive mechanism explains why so many people are so sensitive to criticism.
Man is a unique animal species to the extent that individuals use their peers socially with stress.The only species that equates to this, according to Neuroendocrinologist Sapolsky, are the baboons. [1
But regardless of our biological roots, you can learn to deal with criticism as an individual.I would even say it’s important if you want to grow as a person. But it’s not surprising that it sometimes takes effort to offer the alarm bells from the reptilian brain.

So psychologists also have to say a little about condemnation.Sometimes the reaction to condemnation is so prominent that it causes psychological suffering. An example is the borderlinepersonality disorder. Some psychologists see BPS as a result of poorly developed mentalizing skills. [2 mentalization ensures that you have the cognitive ability to interpret the behavior of others as the result of his internal mind, thus more or less the cognitive active component of empathy.Or what’s more in context explained, mentalization prevents you from automatically shooting in the panic response that is the in the human brain.
Mentalizing thinking therefore allows to prevent or transcend the feeling of condemnation based on cognitive inpathy.But inliving can cost a lot of energy, as evidenced by ‘ n phenomenon as Compassion fatigue.And it becomes quite difficult if you grew up in a climate that does not stimulate the development of mentalisation.
Mentalization is a skill that most people learn through social contact.When the social contact with the environment is severely disrupted during the youth, this can be a disastrous for emotional development. Someone with BPS will quickly interpret comments from others, and more violly, even his own thoughts as persecution, with all the fierceness that entails. The behavior of borderlines is very normal in itself, because everyone knows these reactions, but the frequency and the intensity make it difficult to function normally.

What do I want to say?It is normal to have feelings of condemnation and it is normal if this provokes violent reactions. But it is considered wise to offer the head here. If you are experiencing problems with violent feelings of condemnation, or if you do not correctly understand or accept that others feel condemned, it may be useful to talk to a psychologist here.


[1 Making Sense with Sam Harris #91-The Biology of Good and Evil (with Robert Sapolsky)

[2 mentalization based treatment for Borderline personality disorder

It makes the playing surface as small as you are already closing everything from your own frame of reference.It bothers me in that sense not so much, I mean how broadly thinking I would be if I were to wind up on that. My playing field is not that of another, if they want to see walls everywhere, then that’s fine, I always have a ladder with me to climb over it;)

No sincere involvement or contextual thinking.Unless they just have a bad day.

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