What would you rather not have told your partner afterwards?

That I liked one of his colleagues.Boy Young, that picked up completely wrong. I just have that sometimes, that I like someone, that’s in my head and there would never be anything happening. It is often also when I have stress, a mechanism to get myself up, like someone. Just tasty from far away though and that person never gets behind because the only thing I do is think eh.

What is sometimes tricky is that my husband is also my best friend. We can really sit on the couch as two teenagers and have the greatest fun.When we sit in that role that feels fantastic and really like the good old days and I am also not working with him as a partner at all. To me that fall in love are just a given and therefore a means to bridge a period that is heavy. In This case it was very busy on my work. I was so stupid to say that to him too.

He could set this-logically natural-not in perspective.Certainly not because he now knew who it was and who saw that person every day. Honestly with me, such a romantic love might take 5 days and 2 if I don’t feed it, at least long enough to experience a boost. My husband knows that this is something that happens, but has no problems with it if it is someone he does not know. He notices the difference to me, but we do not talk about it, at my request, because if you talk about it is a thing and that is not so right.

Of course I could know in advance that this would not land well, but I thought by sharing it with him I let him know that it is nothing and that he does not have to worry about it.I thought that was completely influenced by all the fabrics that were released in my head.

In hindsight-once free of the psychotic delusion;) I obviously understand that that was complete nonsense, a lie too, because I just wanted to talk about it.Even with him. The damage was not worth it. In a blow he changed back to the uncertain man he had left behind years ago. This made me realise that I had gone too far. I had made myself completely mad and in that cradling I had convinced myself that sharing with him made me a very good person. ‘ I don’t do anything and here now you know it too. ‘ Of course, I felt guilty because I had let it come so far, and from that guilt I had confessional my infatuation to him and that with zero comma zero eye for his feelings. I had little feelings for him at that time, something that feels very strange I can tell you, because you know ‘ that’s the man I love ‘ but you just don’t feel it because the infatuation is swallowed up.

My husband, who is very sensitive and obviously loves me very much, took this instinctively as if I had been lying in bed with that boy for years.The highest rank of treason. If I am very honest, those are not even things I think of when I am in love. Sex and stuff I can only do with someone I trust and know (and that lasts very long), even in my imagination I can’t think of anyone else, then it blocks my whole body. The infatuation is mainly about the tension-as for example ‘ when I see him again ‘. I don’t even talk to anyone. I remain as far away as possible, it is completely unilateral and it could be anyone who comes through the door at the right time (right in this case, when I have reached a certain stress level). No one ever gets behind, yes except when you’re going to tell it. Then it becomes one thing.

I learned a lot from this incident.I am no longer in control when I have a certain limit. I am going to cross that border when I constantly keep feeding myself with thoughts. When I was younger I just went to stalking. Here I got away with it because I look nice probably and not very dangerous. I also never did weird and managed to keep my mouth (with regard to the madness that was taking place in my head) but I did know very casual people always bump into it and then react very spontaneously ‘ Jesus it seems like I stalk you. ‘ In the picture I managed to get that right, but once I was in the picture I was often scared, because I wanted nothing of the person.

To prevent this mechanism from coming into effect, I do not succeed, so now I am focusing on not feeding.When I do this EBT the infatuation within a few days away and I am again myself. In addition, I keep track of when this happens and I have retroactively looked at previous situations. There I found a very bright pattern. That went back to group 1 or my first thoughts. This has made me think, I will undoubtedly be amenable, but what was so young already so stressful to me that the only way of surviving and the pain did not feel fall in love. My home situation was not stable and unsafe is the answer, in addition, depression is a common thing in my family. I know that as a child I was already depressed because I remember thoughts as ‘ Why am I here, can’t I be better dead? And that I fantasized about drowning in the sea, or from a mountain jumping off on vacation, how can I get an accident, things like that. And then I am really talking about thoughts when I was seven or eight, not at puberty. Then it was much worse and the elaboration of my infatuation so too.

Luckily I am blessed with a lot of analytical skills.It was painful to put all of this out and it was certainly painful that someone else (even though in fact nothing happened, but everyone has had to suffer his damage, my husband too) under it. This has given me the awareness that there has been an undesirable situation and I have been working on it. I don’t think I’ll ever solve it at all, I don’t want that either. It’s a protection mode that turns my body on, now I use that as an indicator of stress. As soon as I feel the feelings (just because that’s how it goes) I know ‘ hey I’m experiencing stress, I have to investigate this ‘-instead of talking to myself, I now get into action in the real world with the little boost of dust as a push in the back. Perhaps this was always the intention, to come into action, but as a child I could not understand that, of course.

Conclusion-I’d rather never have said anything to my husband, I hurt him very much by sharing this ‘ problem ‘ with him.Much more pain than I could have ever imagined, however, his reaction has led to a solid solution.
He helped me a lot (when he had given the incident a spot) and this has also changed his perspective on the incident.

I now have a certain control because the pattern is easy to follow.
There is (invisible to me) stress, dust going to work and only then a person comes into the picture (so can whoever be it is just on who you project it).So what I am doing now is when I notice the dust, my husband put extra picture. The last two times I was completely in love with him and of course he doesn’t mind at all!

Basically everything that sounds less positive.I am almost sure I can expect a sermon. When I say that I have had a nasty bacon with someone, he says it is up to me. That I do not come for myself and everything PIK. When I order steak and get chicken, it is my verdict. If I find that someone should not do me then “I do as if I am a factor, but so important to others I am not so I don’t have to put myself so”. You name it.

I have no regrets at my partner about what I have ever told him, but I can give you an answer about my previous relationship.I told him that I had 2 relationships for him at the same time, and since he was very jealous, that was not helpful. All 鈧?艙checkzin 鈧?was tightened… many questions followed and stopped. Very sad. Yeah I regret that.

Openness and honesty for everything.If you do not think you can or want to share certain things with your partner, you are wrong in my humble opinion.

If you ask this question to yourself or to someone else, it seems to me that you are not 100% open to yourself or the other.I’ve been telling things I might have thought about afterwards, not handy.. But it is my truth. Someone who is interested in you should also know how to think about things regardless of the other’s ideas about it. This creates a relationship. If you only stop clean appearances you never get behind someone’s real character and so you will never really learn to know anyone…. Maar 鈧?娄. Never tell that you’ve got the last cookies…

I honestly think you shouldn’t share everything with every partner, and certainly not at any time.Sometimes people share things to be rid of themselves instead of taking the other into account. I do think you can have a conversation about what each one likes to share or what they prefer not to know. I did have this on certain matters with my partner.

At some point, something you tell can arrive very badly at your partner, but if you can talk about it later, it can do your relationship a lot better…

Maybe it’s not even so much about the content of what you say, but more about the way and the words you use.No sweading, no reproating. Especially there you have to watch M.I..

You should also pay attention to (the way of or the moment of) expressing doubts that you would occasionally have about the other or about the relationship.Instead, they can initiate the opposite reaction. In other words, you get a selffulling prophecy. The past the present and the future can be in a totally different light, by the view of the other. If the focus only goes to that one element, it can destroy it all.

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