What is something that many of you think but is not really true?

That I’m introvert or shy or don’t feel like talking.

While I’m actually ouwewhore first class.This is because I don’t know how to do Smalltalk in Dutch. The icebreakers that are usually in use do not work with me.

“Where do you come from?”

“From Amstelveen”.

“Oh yeah?There my ex lives in the neighbourhood in Uithoorn “.

Damn, what should I do with this information?Do I have to say something about his ex? About Uithoorn and all its reflections such as Jumbo and the golden scissors? So I say:

“Oh, OK”.

What a conversation killer.

If you ask me something about current affairs or something that is in the headlines or so, or how my workday was, at least something content, I can talk about it for hours.

Once I sat in my cellphone to read at the bus stop.A man comes to me:

“Hello, is that fun?”

“Sorry, what’s nice?”

“What are you doing?

“I’m reading.An interesting piece about a woman who grew up in the strictest Jewish Orthodox community, a cult actually. On her 40th she escaped and went to live secular life and she wrote a book which was an absolute sensation. Yet she missed her children so much that she had committed suicide. A now all rights over the manuscript have fallen into the hands of her family. So it can no longer be translated to other languages, unfortunately. Only a few small pieces from the book have been translated. I was reading that. “

“Gadverdamme.I just wanted a little flirting. And you’re about suicide. Weird WIJF! “

That I am angry.

I have a Resting Bitch Face. If I’m listening, focused or just looking around a bit, I seem to be doing that with an angry head.

In my opinion, this is because my left corner is slightly curled.And I admit that I always have to laugh at pictures, because otherwise that photo just won’t be cozy.

I tried to go through life all day with a smile on my face, but I got bothered by my jaws.

The most annoying I find the comments that random people make on the street:

  • “What do you look angry.”
  • “Do you always look so grumpy?”
  • “You can laugh!”

Really hee, do not mind with my facial expression.

For some reason people often think of my appearance that I am a drug user.I go to Maastricht very often and I have to almost literally beat the cocaine dealers around me. And so it is everywhere. I just walk quietly on the street and are constantly being offered drugs and when I say to use cannabis, but more not, one always looks very surprised.

And it’s not just the dealisms.I have never been able to take a plane without anyone taking me out of the queue for checking my luggage. And I literally mean never. When I was still married, we made bets: how long will it take for me to get knocked out of line? A few days ago I had a conversation with the recording manager of a psychiatric establishment where I currently stay for the sake of relapse in depression. This lady did not ask: 鈧?艙you also use drugs, but right away 鈧?艙what drugs are you using? 鈧?When I reacted with the question of how to use drugs, she began to wring in seven turns and did not really get an answer. Later that day I was a little restless, I missed my daughter, a nurse came to ask if I might have suffered from withdrawal symptoms, while just before my urine test was negative.

Even my parents still ask (while I am 41 years old) when there is something: you are not dealing with drugs huh?

Earlier in school, when a weed walm hung in the toilets, teachers invariably asked: 鈧?艙that doesn’t come from you huh?).

So I experience that almost daily.

My nickname at the office is “peanut”.

Not because my wife is Chinese.

Not because I have Indonesian roots.


I always have a bin of peanuts on my desk,


They think I love peanuts a lot.

And this is, of course, also true,

But the employees at the office think that I like Aaaaaaaaaaalle nuts out there in the grocery store peanuts are the aaaaaaaaallerlekkerst.


This is what they think, but of course is not true.

Indeed, I find:




Brazil Nuts,



and pecans

Really much tastier.

They are only a factor 2 more expensive and considering my big consumption I would probably have to do a step back financially.

In addition, my nickname might change to “cashewnoot” while I find “peanut” sound more enjoyable.

I know myself when I’m in control, as for example when I give a course, to present very well.

In Most courses I tell that I am an introvert person.

There are always people who think that it is a joke.

However, it is completely true.

I am very introvert and do not know me to behave in a companion… unless I am the center of the company at default.

As for example when I give a course.

Many people think I don’t have a child (Eren), because they estimate me much younger.That is, of course, a compliment, but this can sometimes be annoying too. In the Office, people from the ‘ higher ranks ‘ tend to leave me on the left. At a meeting was once a bit laughable asked ‘ Goh Chais, how long are you already in this branch? ‘
‘ Not so long though, ‘ I laughed back, ‘ in November only 12 years. ‘
And then you see the brains grinding.How? What? Huh?
Since then they approach me very differently.

Or if people talk about their children who are a year or four, five years old.
‘ That does not work so Chais, you can still find out if you have children. ‘
“You’re right, but I think I’ll only get that chance from my grandchildren.”
Huh?How do you mean?! ‘ and then they find out that my son is already a lot older than their children.

Sometimes I do it a little express, I know people are younger, but sometimes I can’t let it illustrate how stupid (and acting) is.

That I have an eating disorder, almost always think of anorexia.I heard this from elementary school, when I was so young that I didn’t even know what anorexia was.

I’m pretty very thin and I’m severely underweight.This has been so much my life, but I have always been healthy. It is genetic, my parents used to be very thin and they started to come around their thirtieth pass. Now they both have to pay close attention to their diets while they used to eat (like me now) what they want without getting anything. I have a quick digestion, I need to go very fast after eating to the toilet, and I am vegetarian. I still get the necessary nutrients inside, but if I were to eat meat I think I would go a lot easier.

I’ve been to the dietitian and to the hospital for research, but no one can help me.I have been exercising since March in the hope that I will arrive because I am not happy with my body. I don’t like to look so unhealthy thinly. It makes me insecure and I often get comments about whether jokes are being made about it.

Luckily it works sports.I went from 37 to 41 kg in three months. I am mainly in muscles but not in fat. It will take a long time for me to get to the 50 kg, which is at least my goal, but I’ll got there.

There are many people who say I look very angry what is not actually the case I have an evil appearance and often look evil but do not have that I do that

That I am dangerous, angry or aso but of course that is not so, I am neat if that should (speak older to you), my face is angry not me and I am dangerous if it is needed but rather not or better never.

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