15 years ago I was a psychologist.It was about me that I was going to ignore myself in order to satisfy the people in my area, especially family and partner. I said something like it is undoubtedly expected of me that I keep lying that it goes while it is not going.
The psychologist was an elderly Jewish gentleman who was still young child during the Second World War.And he told how he sat down with a Christian family who was very faithful. The Nazi soldiers wanted to search their homes at some point and asked if Jude were present.One of the members of this family said death nice “yes” because lying would be a sin according to his faith and the Germans thought he was making a joke. Who would honestly tell something like this? And then they left.
I looked at him asking, what do you want to say about it?
He said: To say the truth is sometimes the best for everyone.That has had a huge impact on me at the time, and still now.
“When the fire is extinguished, the wolves come“, that’s a phrase from the song “When the Fire is extinguished” by acda and de Munnik.First a little fact, because did you know that ‘ when the fire is extinguished ‘, is actually part 1 of the song ‘ It rains sun rays ‘? It really is so. Nice for the people who want to know how it went with Herman before he sold his car.
Photo by: Brenda Timmermans[1
The text of this song is very profound and especially that one sentence, the phrase I mentioned above.
So Thomas Acda and Paul de Munnik have told me through a song something I will never forget. It is true, that in the literal sense it means that when you let the campfire out, the wolves will come. When you listen to the whole song and then try to understand the phrase, it comes down to: “when you lose your passion/confidence and do not chase, you give up the space.“
Your shield becomes weaker
When you let your inner fire extinguish, be it by not believing in yourself or in your passions, then your shield becomes weaker.That shield that you normally protected from negative thoughts like “what if…” or “I’d go…” Everything can then come in.
So you have to keep nurturing your passion and confidence.Keep that fire burning like never before. Because then, the wolves stay where they hear and you will excel!
That’s a bit of a thing.I have no filter so both very important and totally inane things sometimes come in as MUI Importante.
As Mel Gibson said to Goldie Hawn ‘ If you are in a hurry, you better be able to do it ‘ he was the wires of a car connecting a car he was going to steal.No more idea what movie. Now when I’m rushed it will play that fragment by default.
So my head is full of things like that.Luckily, they are only broadcast when it is relevant.
There is so much that I can not choose.Basically everything comes from movies or images of people, stories I hear in the train. That’s how I learn.
The most important thing I found is that you always have to say that you love each other and do not have to go out with quarrel.As a teenager I saw a film about an aupair with a Jewish family. The youngest son drowned and they had a disagreement that morning. Okay so I never decided then.
O shoot me something inside.I spoke to a man with debts. His father was a lawyer. His twin brother a lawyer. And he? A failure with drug addiction in the near past. He never wanted to become a lawyer and study. He wanted to be free, practical, put things together. That was not allowed by his father. He had to become a lawyer at all costs. Now he was sitting on a room of 3 by 2 and he worked as a bike maker assistentlike something. His father had him unterfasted.
Three quarters later..
‘ In spite of the detour you have come! ‘
“How do you mean?” he asked.
‘ Well you are a free man now, because your father is gone and you can tinker with bikes.That drug addiction, that’s tricky, but now that you’ve gotten these two things, I’m sure you won’t need it anymore. Just like your father who took you down. ‘ ‘
You are a weird one, he said, and he was silent.I thought to myself, ‘ Oh jee ‘. Then he said, “Thank you for being so honest. You don’t even know me. I called for a payment scheme and see what you have given me. I could not have imagined that when I turned this song. ‘
The conversation went on for a while-the week after I called him one more time to see how it was before.The bike maker had offered him training. He would get a fixed salary and could then look at a small house. Joy everywhere.
His story has always remained with me because his story illustrated how he did his best to meet his father’s demands and was therefore deeply unhappy.In the end he was punished too. ‘ Your brother can t do, why you don’t? ‘ Extremely common and short-sighted. There are so many lessons in his story, from yourself to parenting, that I have decided to always remember them.
If you take the time in the hospital to speak to the patients of the heart department, you can expect gripping dialogues.
Earlier I told a Patient that 鈧?虄who is doing well, met well.Suddenly I quickly felt this man grabbing my wrist, saying, “Don’t believe in it,” with a deep look that begged to believe him. The world as he had known it, in all his years of life, was not such that he had seen any evidence of it.
The reason why this remains is because the patients in this department often have a few more weeks to live, so there should be no reason for them to hide the truth even more optimistic.
Another story in the same department that remains with is an elderly woman who told me about the Second World War.How they lurked for bombs under the dining table. She was proud of her children. I felt with her, as these children all led their own lives without being there for her during a snout that her had become almost fatal that day.
Love your mother and go with her to the hospital, which is the only advice I can give to every child.Your parents will always relativate the situations, but they too have a wonderful story, personality and deserve your support.
These situations and conversations with older people who almost have their last breath of sighs during my life are etched into memory.
What you want no other can give you.Man, dare to live! Awarded
“Remember that you are also bringing yourself.”
This has a wise friend told me just before I and my husband left there overseas.I was hoping to make a new start there. I was not happy with my career, and searched more creative exhausts -but what kind of form this would take between all my hobbies I didn’t know.
It also turned out to be true, and I had to let go of that endeavour to self-help in favor of a more pragmatic way of thinking about the work, namely that sometimes you have to find your fulfillment in it that you do something right.Now I work in the technology, far from the creative sector, but I still like it and interesting-and I earn more than what I would deserve as an artist.
I have had to let go of my selfish quest for happiness in favor of the happiness of both of us-and therefore I have found happiness.
I have my own life.I can’t pick up my little brother for the weekend at the boarding school.
I still have some important meetings.You will have to take care of a solution yourself.
After surgery I shared a room with a mother of a ten year old boy last week.She had hoped to be able to go home in the weekend, but her condition did not allow it.
This beautiful woman has six adult children!The first answer was from a daughter who did not have to drive 100 km. She had a baby drink.
The second of her ex, father of the little boy.
So what I will never forget: do not count on your children and/or ex. Imagine the worst, but it is still a part of it.
Arm Jochie.He had to stay in the boarding… if I did not lived 200 km further, I was going to pick him up myself.
Last year I regularly attended the psychologist, it was not all that good.I was far too much concerned with things that caused too much stress and events that were happening in my past. I saw it regularly no longer sitting. One day my psychologist said: 鈧?艙if you live each day if it was your last, someday you ll most certainly be right. 鈧?p>
This put me very much thinking, I therefore found out that I lived my days on the hope that it would be my last.I didn’t try to make anything out of it I left everything about me coming. From that day on I started thinking differently and trying to make something out of it every day. Even if this fails, I live that day with the idea that there is still one tomorrow.