I lost a friend who turned out to be not a real friend. How do I stop suffering from this lost friendship that has lasted for years?

You can better check yourself what aspect you are actually mourning.
The fact that it was not a friend (and you could have seen that for a long time) or the fact that you are missing a friend-but that was not a friend so you can override it (after a while).

My husband had a best friend-and an incredibly low self-image.When I went to help him (at his request), we found out that this friend was not a friend at all. His friend abused him, treated him very badly and did not respect my husband’s boundaries by any means. Only then did I realize how much it was actually posed with the self-image of my husband, that he allowed all that wrongdoing!

I then stood for a pretty tricky choice, because going in with that other person would put my husband in a nasty position.I did not want him to feel that he had to choose and I certainly did not want to awaken the opposing party in that area and unleash a war. So in the beginning I did not say anything except occasionally a remark to make him think and self-demonstrated the behavior that belongs to a good friendship. After three months he came to me. “I don’t think Tom is a real friend.”

Also then I have not called JOH!!!!-What I wanted to do, really, because I was glad he finally saw it, but I also realised that this was undoubtedly a very painful moment for him. So I have once again kept my mouth and supported him, and once again said ‘ gee maybe you don’t get as much out of this friendship as you thought ‘. Eventually, my husband found out that he knew everything that was happening for a long time, but tolerated because he had no one else (anymore). The friend had completely isolated him and made sure no one was there. He also tried it with me, which became painfully clear (for him eventually) because I never attacked him and just let him go his way so that for my husband was very clear what was happening.

His friend became increasingly aggressive on my part, because I did not go away and was certainly not impressed by his behavior.He had not yet experienced that before, everyone was going to stand out or fight with him. I just didn’t reacted. Also at parties I just stayed very quiet while he said the most ridiculous things. I didn’t have to respond, but he had already lost.

When he finally started demonstrating his full-time, it was very clear to my husband.This is not a friend. He therefore did not bother to break with him. However, he struggled with the fact that he had left this man in his life and had been considered a friend while he always knew deep inside that this man did not do well with him. He had not listened to himself, and he was deeply distressed.

You may also be going to do that.Comfort yourself, you know better now. It has been a wise lesson, a painful, but a wise one. Now you will be careful and take better care of yourself and listen to yourself. So in some way it was worth it anyway, because now you know that real friends are not as worn as the latter and you can go looking for someone who behaves everything except that. From here it only gets better:)

That is difficult.I do not think there is any way to circumvent that suffering. You have to go through it. I also think that it is not good to suppress the pain. Emotions lead a life beyond your control. They will come out somehow.

Maybe it’s best to let them come out when you’re ready.Maybe it helps to be quiet at times and let your feelings go their way. Feel the pain of the loss, stay there, do not suppress them, even if the pain is very strong. Cry. Suffer. Stay tuned. Become familiar with it.

Is difficult and can be dark.You will not be able to see through these moments and only be confident that there is a way out, even if you do not see it now. Specific emotions do not carry themselves long. Soon you will be distracted. Follow that if you find that it is enough for now.

Those times can lead to deeper insight and greater maturity.Then there is something beautiful made of something that in itself is not beautiful.

God is with you.

Better than rich I will say.If you also say this to yourself, I have a suspicion that you can leave the suffering behind you very quickly.

I have also experienced it.Just the fact that it was not a real friend. Be a good friend and the good friends come.

‘, ‘ Why suffer?Be happy, relieved that you are off this ‘ friend ‘…

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