I do get a family visit with a child who is not to maintain (aggressive & destructive). This is because his parents always give him his sentence. What can I do about this? Is it OK If I put the child in place and go to the confrontation?

> This is because his parents always give him his sentence.

That may be very short by the bend.It is very unlikely that a child is aggressive and destructive because his parents always give him his meaning.

Spoiled, demanding etc, that is ‘ normal ‘ in a child which is too much spoiled, but destructive behavior decides not.Personally, I would rather estimate that the parents do not intervene, because they (also) do not know any more counsel with him.

Is it OK If I put the child in place and go to the confrontation?

Now is ‘ confronting ‘ in many ways to explain.It is your home, so if someone behaves inappropriate to your idea, then it is more than acceptable that you are appealing to him.

Do it in an appropriate way.Both “here in the house we only grab something, if we ask if it is allowed” as “dirt Teringjoch stay with your paws of my Stuff” is ‘ confronting ‘. There is only one world of difference between both ways.

Personally, I would go for the ‘ here in house ‘ rule.

My son is autistic.And with him I’ve never had any problem with educating, he’s super easy. But some of his boyfriends were always very difficult in elementary school age to maintain according to many parents of his other boyfriends.

For some reason I had trouble with only very few of those ‘ awkward boyfriends ‘.But I also suggested a very clear ‘ here in house ‘ rule.

Never ‘ This is not allowed ‘, without any explanation, but ‘ here at home we do not do that ‘.

You get a ‘ why ‘ question.So give a statement and don’t make it ‘ because I say it ‘. So for example ‘ here at home we only grab something if you have asked for it… ‘ Why? ‘, ‘ because not all candy on the scale is good for children ‘

Children are often ‘ difficult ‘ because they seek boundaries.My experience is when you make those boundaries clear, the child becomes a lot easier. But please do not fall for the urgency ‘ because I say it ‘. How idiot the reason you give may sound too, it’s always better than that.

An aggressive child does not necessarily have to come by the parents.Can also be the nature VH child.

Something very tiring for a parent to be constantly involved.Trying to counteract it. And behaviour.

In addition, parents are also confronted with the fact that people don’t like it at all, parents who continuously tackle their child with drama afterwards.Crying, screaming and misery. That can also be a reason not to tackle in your side. But afterwards, if they were driving away in the car, or later at home.

Someone from the outside/family member, very good friend, sometimes listen to children much better than to their own parents.And drama is therefore much less.

If it is done in the right way, many parents feel that it is very pleasant I think. So that they are not the only one who tells the child that that behavior simply cannot.And every time repeating that something cannot, with a child that does not listen, becomes very tiring.

But it must of course only be done with things that everyone agrees that it cannot be through the bracket.

And no, my child is not so. But I get that feeling though.I did not want to make a drama when we were visiting, and I only discussed it in retrospect, and said that it cannot.

My girlfriend only likes it when I do it with her sons, because of this reason.Her youngest son can be so. Way too much energy, never listen, naughty. Hoping it has more influence when I say something strand. She is very strict for them, especially against the younger son. But that doesn’t change with him. That is how he is now. The older son is much quieter and rather.

A bit of enlightenment for her if I also say what if he is so again. She says that even, asks if I want to do that.Exactly because of this reason. But of course only if there is a reason. I can be very strict, but within limits.

If my daughter is wrong, I find that too pleasant if she appeals to my daughter.

鈧?虄Strande eyes force.

Wildly strange people who interfere with it is something completely different.Even so, I can imagine situations that I find a good plan. But I think many parents think otherwise.

How home, your rules, child and parents have that to accept/respect.Of course, you can’t determine everything, one it’s wise to speak with the parents before you start imposing a staff, but you should speak to them when they look too far. Also, warn you beforehand what your rules are. Do not say afterwards, you guys did too wildly, one that is how this vase fallen. If they are wild, say they are calmer, warn that there are things around them that can break, one that you would very much find. If it actually happens you can go against them with: Now look what you have done, I have warned you so far. Now my beautiful vase piece, one that I find very much. Then go to the child’s parents and tell that after some warnings something has gone, and let the parents speak to them again. Look at how they solve it, they are too mild to your idea say so honestly against them, one shows clearly that you do not like what happened.

If the child is aggressive against you, you may of course also confront him.Let him know that this is your house, that he is a guest, and that you want him to be treated respectfully. He continues to talk aggressively with the parents, and also let them know how you think about this.

I would not go into confrontation, but do clear rules… Before the destruction begins, so as soon as possible.And especially when the parents are there, you will not see it as an antisocial villain who makes a quarrel with their darling but as a polite calm adult who treat him honestly.

With some regularity going on, annoying, something like that.I would do something anyway, otherwise you will be crazy about the idea that they are coming again.It may be that child is bored and is therefore excessively present. It may also be that parents child do not like to publicly wipe the cloak.

How old is the child in question and how is your relationship with the relevant family?

If that child is not yet predisposed (year or five, six), you can talk best with the parents, say that you like to visit them but that you do like them to keep their child more in hand-because that you [two emotionless short Examples can not be appreciated.And you can ask how they tackle/solve that behaviour at home. And they say that you are going to set your own pole and age if they do not.

If the child Is already older, you can

  • Talk to parents-see above;
  • Coach parents and children in their role until they are pleasant to visit:-): Say calmly in front of parents against child-call him/her for a moment, care for full attention-that in your house your rules apply.

So: Do not destroy anything, no cats/dogs/X to cross or hurt, do not scream, and if you want something, just say please. Screaming/No please are ideal offenses: dead calmly wait for silence and just as long as say ‘ what are you saying? ‘ I don’t hear you right ‘ until the child knows what the rule was. For more serious behaviour, make appropriate ‘ penalties ‘ chores: remove the weeds between tiles with a screwdriver (it helps if you notice that you are happy if that really happens), overwrite a paragraph of English/Dutch text perfectly (even if they do not English can), you name it something (again: if he/she performs that job is a feather in his place). This requires patience and a lot of love-in-the-daily practice-you are more concerned with child than with parents, but with a little luck, parents + child will pick up the signals and improve it by themselves.

  • If there is a persistent irritation or a negligible (family) band: Arrange for a nice outdoors or say square that they are not welcome unless they keep child in check.
  • I tell him what it says: 鈧?that is a matter of upbringing “. This applies to parents.

    Against the child I make clear what behavior I do not accept and why.It gets a warning and the next time I grab it.

    In children it is important to be consistent: Say what GE does and do what GE says.

    It does not work to scare children into making them behave.Children feel very good about whether they are sincere or not.

    The 1st correction belongs to the parents.Because it is in your house you can say something about it.

    Strange eyes often have more authority.Clearly indicating boundaries is loving and helps for the future of the child.

    Leave a Reply