How old were you when you started to understand life?

Rather the other way around.I started very quickly with not understanding.
It started with ‘ the truth ‘.For me (as small spectrum goer;)) It was incomprehensible that people did not simply say what they thought in the context of politeness. In my view, that was so impractical (I still think, I myself handle a difference between something politely say or polite because it should/hears = must? -I do not do that last).

The weirdest I still found that I heard two ladies, for example, ‘ What a stupid man is Sylvia he! ‘
‘ Oh look there she is! ‘
‘ Haaaaaaaaai! ‘

Of that sort of thing I got completely off the map.How was it possible anyway?! What happened? What did I miss in that one moment? They said something ugly and the moment after that Pats boom everything else. I also have very strong images or colors when conversations so in the first instance felt the conversation then dark and obscure, black, because it was ugly and then the moment after that the sun popped through the clouds and flying there hurting birds passed and everything was orange and pink. (I can’t explain so well how that works: it’s called synesthesia).

I actually saw this constantly and that made me feel the world was not beautiful.
But rarely did I encounter someone who radiated himself.And you would think that children are blasting, well really not. The one even sadder than the other. Eventually when I was a lot older I just accepted that this is how many people do, whatever the reason may be.
That’s up to them.Let me just be the sun and yes sometimes I burn people a bit with my honesty. Sorry then:)

I’m not sure I’ll ever understand life at all.

I am now (age = 25) In any case some observations.

What I now understand better in life is that I don’t have to attract as much as others think of me.And sometimes you just have to bite away from you, you want to stay 鈧?虄mentally Sane . So do not always think: can I attract this or will others find that crazy, What if I do this or say what will other than think of me.Or think of what if I don’t succeed, how do I get over.

The only obstacle there is, you are yourself.

Now I think a lot more 鈧?虄i just do what I feel comfortable with, no matter what other thinken .As long as I of course do not violate the law, everything is allowed;). This feels so liberating. It sounds very simple but many people stay trapped in thinking what other people will think. It’s a mental step I had to put.

Also that I no longer always have to give socially desirable answers.I don’t always have to invent excuses if I don’t want to go somewhere. If a girlfriend then asked 鈧?虄you want to take it out Friday鈩?then I said something of no have any other plans, but actually I just didn’t feel like it. Now I say it honestly. I have noticed that people can best appreciate that. If you stay friendly. Life is so short to do all things you don’t enjoy. I am glad that I already know that and do not come back to my 60th. Although this is also no higher mathematics of course.

Finally: Don’t let me walk over me when people say something hurtful.It does not waving away as if it is nothing. But just be right to go with 鈧?虄what do you mean there or 鈧?虄i find it hurtful what you say . Instead of days walking around with the situation in my head, different scenario s sketches.

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