At their level.Children are very open, where for US adults death is a difficult and heavy subject, it does not have to be so for children. It is difficult for us because we have experience with this subject. Children or in a completely different way.
I have always left the subject a little to my son.He is someone who poses a lot of questions and wants to understand how things work (like me). He is a real thinker and is fond of thinking out scenarios, of course you will come to death once and for all.
As I have indicated more often.In this type of subject such as death, reproduction, drugs, I often turn the conversation around. “What do you think you know?” This is how I know which knowledge is present and where I still have to adjust. In addition, by how my son tells about it, I know at what level he sits and which ‘ language ‘ best reaches him.
In fact, I find no subject difficult to discuss, in such a conversation it is not about me but a valuable learning moment.
Sometimes I start such a conversation from myself-but then I start directly with the question ‘ Hey, what do you really know about. ‘ Sometimes I also relate to myself from the past, “When I was young I thought this or that and you?” or just in the evening when we tell the food about our day.That I had to give a presentation, for example, and that I was quite nervous. Then I had to laugh, because when I told it, my son put his hand on my arm and said:
‘ Mom, that’s really not bad, everyone likes that scary! ‘
My husband almost swallowed himself in his food because he shot in the lag.
‘ Yes really! ‘ my son cried out indignant.’ I saw that on T.V. there they all asked people, also very important, whether they found it exciting and they all said yes! ‘
In short, just be open about this kind of business.Death belongs to life.
It should not be a taboo subject.
Not as I did it.It’s one of the things I’m still sorry about 24 years later.
I played with my five-year-old son with plastic dietentuinbeestjes and there were also a few human figures.We had a very follow-up story in which his figure was a young man, Bagoas, and I some older warlord of antiquity. And furthermore, many of the ruminants had a role as cattle, load and row animal. But there was also a tiger and a lion and they were of course dangerous. Luckily the elephant and the rhinoceros were on our side, so completely unprotected we weren’t. And we had forts and camps that offered protection.
We played that game for weeks and like all the kids my son was also exploring his limits and he was a tower I had built at such a fortress (just from diced wood) as soon as I was not actively playing in his sentence.That was an earthquake, he said then. I had said that it was dangerous with all these earthquakes, because if the tower fell, there could be a stone on Bagoas, and then-ie was dead. But yes, the fourth time that tower fell over and I had to rebuild that camp with those blocks and rickety plastic signs, I had enough of it. So I grabbed the lion, jumped through the breach of fallen tower in the camp, the lion grabbed the Bagoas figure, and bite it dead before the defense could chase the lion away. I laid it on his back outside the camp, folded a handkerchief over it and said, so, now Bagoas is dead and we have put him in his little joke.
My child saw that quick action, of course, was a little revealing now that his figure was still lying there.How do you make it clear that someone is dead? By letting life go on, so I played the game further, built the tower again put on a punishment expedition against the lion. I invited my son to avenge the death of Bagoas as an elephant. He did, but apparently not wholeheartedly, because after a few minutes he burst into crying and sniked: When does Bagoas now come out of his grafje again?
I don’t remember how it went on.I know that I was very sorry to have introduced death so unexpectedly and so definitively in our game. And that my child was really unsaved. Totally wrong.
I think that having pets such as guinea pigs, mice or marmots is the best way to teach children to cope with death.You will notice whether and how it engages them. And fairy Tales for reading of course. They also touch on all aspects of life.
Adjust it to the age and watch their response.
Do not tell a child of 4 years old any horrible things, then it gets nightmeries.Use rather terms as 鈧?虄weg . Growing fear for the inevitable has happened faster than we think.
A child of 7 can already cope better with it, but is especially curious and will ask questions that you have not immediately thought of.
After that, it will be better to talk about it just honestly.
The teaching material was the death of our two rabbits.
They are buried in the same place under a tree and that was certainly for my daughter a pretty spicy experience, my son was slightly too small for that.It was mainly the ritual that we used as processing I think. In my opinion, at the time of my father’s death, we also had a drawing.
At certain times I have quite frankly been a provocative and light sadistic side to my children.I told my son once with the remarks that we were once digging up the bones of the rabbits. That was of course not appreciated and my ex was also “not amused”.
As everyone here says, at their level.Only I mean it might be different.
You use the words they know, but your message is like talking to an adult person.Some children will ask you because they have existential questions. Mirror these questions, but do not let the children “psychologically” alone.
Usually there is a real talk about the death of a person who is dear or known and could cause a trauma?Maybe talk about it sooner, then when really going to happen.
You can keep animals that only live for a few years.Sounds very crue, but teaches them that life ends. With which I do not mean to make them insensitive with death, on the contrary. But with reality.
Difficult question.I do not have any children, but I can still try to answer this question. I will try to answer it from the perspective ‘ daughter of.. ‘.
What immediately falls to me is ‘ Don’t be too cramped and serious about ‘.This I actually suggest more from my own experience.Do you know (you guys) I have an Asian father (Japanese to be exact), and as one may know, Japanese are not exactly the people you think of when talking about ‘ open about emotions and difficult subjects ‘. I too have experienced that. With my father then. Talking about emotions, has gone very hard. Earlier. Now something better.
The subject of death, sounds very scary for many people.That is why I used to talk about it with my parents (rather the other way around).
My mother, who is a typical Amsterdam woman, always said “uncarved” In life is not much fixed, except that you will ever die.Debby Downer? Yes. The truth? Yes too.
Back my father.When the subject of death ever came up, it was all but miserable and the best people were dying the earliest. Or what they always say in English. Something in the direction of ‘ The best people die first ‘ or something.
Years later, the father of my best friend died.Incidentally, my father’s best friend. I talked a lot with my girlfriend about death and that has made me somewhat more flexible in talking about death. By her, I was urged to talk about death also with my parents. Because it is hard but true. Someday my parents will come to death. If I don’t go first then (you never know huh). My friend from whom the father died, then said that I could better speak more easily about death with my parents. So that it doesn’t all come as a blow, should the moment be there. Also something more practical; Are all matters regulated? Do the surviving relatives know what the wishes of the deceased are? You will be struggling with that. Of course, you don’t discuss this with a child! But suppose your teenage son or daughter asks for it, he or she has the right to know. Is your child a young adult or adult? Please discuss it for sure.
Sometime at the beginning of twenty (I have some older parents than the average) came to the topic cremating or buried to bid.I then figured out that this was the moment. I just asked my parents, how they were and what their wishes are. We had a good conversation about that. I then explained what my decisions are when I come to death. I also found out that my father does not want to be buried in Japan, but in the Netherlands. I totally didn’t know that. I had just expected the opposite.
Now I am 25 and now we as a family are talking about death more easily, if that topic comes up somewhere.This feels very fine for me. It is also not something to be too serious about doing so. After all, We are all ever going to pan. It is better to know what the reality is.
Sure, start very subtle.Don’t start too early. But once a child is well-defined and starts asking questions, just be open and realistic. No fairy tales about the calves and the little clouds that you end up after your death, or something like that.
Tip: watch the movie ‘ Coco ‘ with your children.This film is about death, but in a very nice subtle way. It is a children’s film. But for the elderly just as much fun. I even had to pinken a job away. But yeah, what did I expect? After all, it’s a Disney movie. I am and do stay a 90 ‘s baby. Disney movies certainly belong to that. Perhaps if you look at the film together with your child (Eren), you will be asked again. Nice connecting point.
I understand well that this is not a direct answer to the question. But I did not know so well what was meant by ‘ children ‘, about which age category exactly.But I think you feel as a parent, when your child has questions about it. Or just avoid the subject altogether.
I talk open and honest about all the subjects with my children.If they want to know something they will indicate it and if they do not wish to know it, they also clearly indicate that.
The problem with death is that only few adults have gone beyond the narrowness of their ego to learn to watch and live with fear of death.
While reality is a suit less terrifying. Who was present before your ego formed?Who is the observer of your thoughts?
The best thing I can say is that our soul is the observer and that we are all living in this collective dream to create a new perspective on who we are.Of course there are also karmic parts that we come to finish, as each choice has a consequence.
When we die, that is as we wake from a dream in this life.It all seemed lifelike and yet we know that we are now awake no longer coincide with what we dreamed.
As our body dies we go back home, where as Multidemsionale beings we live a life in a world where everything is more in harmony with the intent of primary consciousness.We also come back to our loved ones and accompany them.
There’s nothing bad that happened, it’s just the illusion that ends.