As a man, do you easily talk about your emotions? How come?

Certain emotions yes.

On the one hand, because people feel so uncomfortable that they don’t ask further.

On the other hand because my kids are the most intense love I feel, and that very much.Easy Goes

I think so.That hasn’t always been the way, there have been times when others were surprised to find out how I felt. But my girlfriend attaches great value to emotions, we are in different ways two extremes that fit perfectly together. And she has dragged me a little in her view of the world. She does not settle for a simple answer to questions about emotions, so I learned not always to choose simple answers like ‘ prima ‘ when asked how I feel about something.

Yes, I can easily talk about my emotions.However, I don’t have so many emotions. That is because I lead a stable life. I have a wife and children, I live healthily, I have meaningful work, and I never feel lonely. I love my wife, children, work and hobbies.

Yet I do not like it, and that has more to do with the people around me who find it difficult to accept that a man has emotions.I live in a rather macho culture, and work at a technical school, so that’s a little more ‘ do it normally ‘ than normal.

How it is that I can talk about it is because when I was young I was very stuck in emotions and deliberately started looking for ways to deal with it.In A meditation Group I finally found the acceptance of my emotions that I needed to be able to release my emotions myself. Since then it is easy for me to have emotions, and also to deal with it.

People who know me will say: But you are totally not emotional.That’s right, there are not so many people who stand near me to show my emotions. But that does not mean that I have difficulty with it, it simply means that I have taken a simple decision (rational) not to show my emotions at that time.

A few years ago I fell in love with someone else.That has brought me many relationship problems and also emotions, which I was not waiting for at all. “It just happened to me” is what I said to myself. But now I know better. Infatuation is a conscious action. It is the planting of a seed (the ‘ spark ‘) after which you by fantasizing give water to it. Until it is a tree, and you think, ‘ Where does that tree come from? ‘.

Now that doesn’t happen to me.If I were to be alone again I could just decide to fall in love, but I’m still not waiting for relationship problems, and so I can just master myself and choose not to fall in love.

The emotions that I was most involved with were the problems of my childhood, especially the relationship with my parents.It took a while, but afterwards I started to realise that my parents are actually very normal people, who have had no wrong intent in life, and just tried to be the best parents for me and my brother and sisters that they could be. That they made mistakes is no more than normal, and I will also experience it with my children.

Anger is one of the most difficult emotions, because there is often fear and sadness behind it.However, anger must be expressed, and people often find that you should not be angry, because you will “blame”. That’s not true, you don’t blame at that time, you’re just trying to release your emotions, after which they can disappear.

A warning for people who think “I also want to experience that freedom, I’m stuck in my emotions”: when you get emotions, you end up in a sphere with a yarn of more emotions.And that sphere seems infinite. As long as you pull out, more emotions come out. So you should just say at some point: now it’s enough, I’m done with this anger/fear/etc.

The first stage is expressing, the second stage is to forgive your younger self for what happened, and the third stage is full acceptance.If you do that, you will hardly ever have any problems with your emotions. The funny thing is that you can do it all alone, though it helps if someone can assist you. That person must be very strong in his/her shoes, and there are few who can handle it.

I hope someone here has some.

Now, but that’s only recently.If I look back on it now, the answer is sad because research on ADHD was still in its infancy, and no diagnoses were made yet, let alone that there was guidance.

Even as a child, I always lied and said that nothing was wrong.It is often regarded as a typical thing for men who do not do it for fear of coming to the outside world less masculine. With me it has always been located to never diagnosed ADHD.

As a child, I was continually punished for my behaviour.Both at home and at school have never heard anything other than blame because, unlike my brother and sister, I did not succeed in doing what was asked of me. I also always felt different from others.

Three years ago, on 16 November I drove my car to a high bridge with the aim of jumping into the Albert canal.I had my courage, written a letter, and I became involved in a traffic accident at several hundred meters from the bridge. The first thing I can remember was that I woke up in the hospital. After two days I was taken to the Psychiatric emergency department of the same hospital where I stayed for six weeks.

On 22 December, I was taken to a psychiatric hospital where I had to stay for eleven months.

Because of the seriousness of my depression I was extensively tested by a team, affiliated with the Catholic University of Leuven.

A whole week of conversations with me, my parents, brother and sister, together with a series of tests, produced a psychodiagnostic report of fifteen pages.

And this is the answer to your question for me:

“This patient has developed from his earliest childhood strategies to make people believe that everything was in order.He did so because he began to mirror himself to his older brother and sister because they did not have to deal with rejections and punitions. We suspect that the source of his depression and dark thoughts should be located around the age of six years. That is the period of transition from kindergarten to the first grade, where he was confronted with additional tasks and where he had to be quiet more often and make homework. Something in view of the degree of ADHD was almost impossible without the necessary guidance. With the result still more punishments rejections along all sides. We as a team do not doubt that he has already passed through periods of depression from then on. That is why he has so far not been able to appoint his emotions….

Three years ago, it was also predicted that it would not be solved with a one-time prolonged intake and I had a chance of around 80% to get back into depression.

Luckily I knew this time to recognize the symptoms, so the current recording will be much shorter.

Hmmmm I find it not difficult but Tis not something I do a lot because emotions are feelings they are important but it is not the main moot of my being.I notice that I try to understand thingies rationally. I understand my emotions though I snap where it comes through is a matter of things not letting it simmer for too long. If I put it away what I used to do, it could come back to water later, and that could cause me to react or make it to others. If I had pain I did other pain now I understand that I should not do it. And that I should use that pain and anger for things. As sports art writing ect. I have to admit that I still don’t really have it under control I have occasional anger eruptions to the raarest things. I feel pretty screwed up by the universe. I want what I am entitled to. Much ago nothing in return had what the suffering was worth.

Hmm I got the question and I was wondering if there was a news post on the basis of the question.After all, it has been a tweet that this topic came up for me. After reading the news post about Prince William[1 I started thinking about this.

Over the years, more specifically over the past 10 years, I’ve really learned to express myself emotionally.The initial difficulty came on the one hand by satisfying a certain image, but on the other hand it is also organic. It turns out that adulthood is only present around your 24th. [2 In addition, the brain of the man is more mature than the woman, the one says around 30 another article speaks of 43.

The emotional/empathic capacity is later addressed to men, and I have experienced this myself and have also been a few men around me.However, through emotionally violent events (the death of loved ones/challenging life/travels/births), reflection and growth has also been stimulated.

Who is really important to me?What is of value for my life? These questions I have asked me more often and as a result is talking about emotions almost compulsory.. How do I be understood differently? How do I keep the people around me who are important and do I know who I can say goodbye to? How do I get things to do at all?

Talking about emotions I learned, and I still learn, but just as you learn to express you also come to know when not to express.This is a challenging aspect for me personally.

In Professional setting for example or if you just get to know someone.Damiaan Denys referred to social media as an influence as well. [3

All in all I get out pretty easy, maybe something too. I have put a lot of effort into this, and my life experience and vision of life have helped.Now continue inventing when it is and is not appropriate.


[1 http://Prins William: Men tired…

[2 The age of Adolescence

[3 http://’ call Prince William say…

Yes, I talk about emotions quite easily nowadays.And what a liberation is that-it cannot (= MAY!) Talk about emotions is clearly the number 1 cause why many men are unhappy and even sick.

I can do that because I learned it.Talking about emotions is actually not so interesting -it’s about being able to actually see your emotions (rather than denying them), and naming it, and ABOVE all: being honest about it, listening to it -that’s crucial.Especially the systematic suppression of all sorts of emotions, “forbidding yourself” to feel certain things or “forbidding yourself” that expressing feelings is what brings many men into a premature grave, after an incomplete and always some “empty” Feeling alive.Because you express emotions, that is of course very much “gay”-What a stupid (and violent) conception is.

The biggest problem for many men is that they have taught all those subtle and less subtle oppressive mechanisms both from home and through their environment (especially in the first 20 -30 years of life).Many men are not or barely aware of this complicated web of repressions and internalised prohibitions and behavioural guidelines on emotions such as anger and sadness, incidentally-this also applies to women-only get those Other “Do’s” and “donts” than men-but just as toxic and unfortunate, often enough.

I am not going to explain here how it all works (that would be too short by the bend, I have been living intensively for almost a year now, and still learn every day, and I feel not yet skilled enough to be “teacher” there) , but the crucial elements are that you look honest and open to yourself and others, that you let yourself be fearless (stands for) What you feel, and that you always (try) to keep an open heart to the other-especially in anger, the most difficult of all Emotions, this is of great importance.Anger with closed heart leads to hardening and violence. Suppression of anger leads to violent explosions or heart failure. Anger with open heart leads to rapprochement and connection.

One final tip is also: learn to see the difference between deep and essential feel (essence), and repeating learned (before) judgements (ego).I can tell you: it’s not simple, but it opens up worlds.

Depending on who, and whether it is relevant. If so, yes, to such an extent that it is useful. I need some privacy as an inttovert.

Maybe something too easy sometimes.I’ve always had a bit of it.

I have to say that it pleases me fine in this way.I have rather extremes in terms of emotion, very gloomy or much bravado. It comes with periods. Both extremes are clumsy, and sometimes they are even irresponsible to go along too much. Because of this, I might also have to learn to be open to friends and family.

So sometimes I tell quite embarrassing things.I’m not ashamed so fast anymore. The things that are more difficult to understand or more intimate, of course, I do keep for that group of people that are really close to me. I really need those people in my life, and I am very happy that they are d’r for me. This kind of overdoing what I do is also helping to relativate, which I sometimes find difficult with my autism.

I assume that my friends and family will help me as much as I do them.And sometimes it’s also just fun to have yourself, right? 😉

It is a good thing that I am also getting better at learning how to em myself in all my follies.Seems to me a good first step if you want to sit in your skin.

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